Reason 0012 : The Real Cause of Traffic Jams

One thing I have realised after so many years of living in Singapore is that our Gahmen is wrong; traffic jams are not caused by a limited number of COEs, or by ever increasing numbers of motor vehicles in Singapore, nor is it caused by the fact that the pace of road construction is not keeping up with the growth in the vehicle population. The real reason is that traffic jams are caused by stupid kaypoh Singaporeans who slow down to gawk at vehicles parked on the side of the road.

The traffic on the roads and expressways are generally smooth flowing. However, when the traffic starts slowing down and depending on how slow traffic is, there can be only a few reasons for the cause:

1. very slow with very frequent stops : an accident has occurred with visible signs of damage to affected vehicles. Affected vehicles are obstructing one or more lanes. The more carnage, blood, and damage seen, the more traffic stoppages occur and the longer each stop is. Stupid kaypoh Singaporeans are slowing down to gawk and count the number of dead bodies and injured people seen, pints of blood spilled, and to copy down multiple 4D numbers as quick as they can.


2. slow but traffic is in continuous flow : an accident has occurred with visible signs of damage to affected vehicles but the vehicles have been moved to the side of the road with no obstruction to traffic. However, stupid kaypoh Singaporeans are slowing down to gawk and see whether there are any dead bodies, any injured people, blood, and to copy down 4D numbers.

3. traffic speed is a little slower than usual : at least 1 vehicle is parked by the side of the road, with no visible signs of damage, and with no obstruction to traffic. Stupid kaypoh Singaporeans are slowing down to gawk and see, hoping to see some damage to the vehicle, and whether there is a need to copy down any 4D numbers. If 2 or more cars are parked on the side, the slower traffic becomes.

To these stupid kaypoh Singaporeans : "Get a fucking life"!